Broken and Bruised
by writtenbygrace
Summary: He's the most broken person she knows, and she barely even knows him. That conclusion leads Patricia to wonder why he's reaching out to her for help; she's not loving, she doesn't care about other people. Yet he, this stranger, seems to assume that she, broken and bruised as well, can save him from his suffering. They can save each other. Peddie AU (I used to be xFabinao)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: YAYAYAYAYAYA I'M BACK AND I'M SO EXCITED (summary of A/N paragraph below –excluding the sincere apology-)**

***Oh wow. Wow. I bet you all really hate me right now. I'm sorry for all the time that I took off, I truly am. But I lost inspiration for a while, and mix that with a tight schedule – FanFiciton was just the thing that I had to give up for a while. But, I'm back, and starting fresh. I'm only going to keep some of my other stories, and try to work on just one or two new ones at a time; we'll see. If you guys forgot, I was xFabinao, but I'm definitely trying to recreate myself, and I felt that the name writtenbygrace gave me flexibility for any fandom. I really thought that this would be my first story with a publishing schedule –simply to give me flexibility- but I went ahead and wrote all of it… oops? It's not going to be that long – only 8 chapters including the epilogue, but it will definitely help ease me back on to this site. I have quite a few story ideas and this was not one of them, so I'm sure that I'll have more to write soon. In other news, I know that I had a lot of viewers on I Can See It Now; and it was my first AU. I personally didn't like it, so it's gone. I'm trying another AU, (this one) simply because I have mixed feelings about writing AUs, and I figured that I needed to give one another shot. I really hope that you enjoy this – I'm going to try my best to stay on here when I have time.***

**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis.**

***o***

"Do you think that I should get him help?" Piper placed her mug of cooling tea down, glancing over at her sister.

"Get who help, now?" Patricia didn't mean to not listen, but after a few sentences Piper always became utterly _boring._

"You're impossible, Trixie. I was talking about Eddie. You know, my friend from school last year? He was in my Music History class, seventh period."

"Oh right, him." Patricia nodded, although she couldn't remember ever hearing about Eddie before. How many times had Piper mentioned him? "What's up with Freddie, now?"

"_Eddie_," Piper corrected, gritting her teeth. As she was about to jump into her story, again, she thought better of it. It wasn't like Patricia was going to listen to her anyway. "I'm just worried about him, is all. I'll take care of it on my own."

"Great," Patricia was about to thank her sister, per usual, when her all too familiar Sick Puppies ringtone cut through the room. "I have to take this, sorry." Patricia silenced her sister and answered her cell phone, walking out of Piper's apartment to talk. Piper crossed her arms, leaning back into the cushioned sofa. Her irritated groan pushed pieces of the red hair, which hung loosely in front of her face, to waver in the air before falling back against her pale complexion. Patricia was a useless sister, a useless friend; completely unreliable. She didn't know why she even_ bothered_ trying to talk to her about anything, let alone serious problems. This was one of the few times that she had gone to Patricia for help, and if anything, she was only wrapped tighter in the chains that choked her with fears, not free from them.

"Pipes?" Patricia stuck her head back into the apartment. "I need to go help Jerome with something. I'll see you tomorrow for the party, yeah?" Piper was about to ask Patricia to _please_ not show up to the party because of how upset she was with her, but she didn't have the time to do so before the door was slammed in her face. Needing Patricia's help this desperately should have made her jealous of Jerome for being capable of getting her sister's attention so quickly, but Piper knew that the two would only be planning a prank on Alfie. She didn't want to be a part of that. Patricia's immaturity was Piper's least favorite quality of her sister.

***o***

A disgusting cat whistle made Patricia snap her head around to the eyes of Alfie and Jerome. "Get away, losers." Patricia demanded, turning back to the mirror, and running her fingers along the curls in her hair. She smoothed out the bottom of her short black dress, and checked the zippers on her combat boots. Grabbing a black wristlet from her desk, she met her friends at the door downstairs, and they exited together.

"Do either of you know what she's been planning?" Jerome asked his best friends from the driver's seat.

"Nope," Patricia and Alfie replied in unison. Being sister and boyfriend to Piper should have made them more aware on what happened in her life, but neither of them was at that stage of maturity yet. They arrived at the party only a couple of minutes into the beginning. Patricia was surprised simply by the outside. Their parent's house was blasting with music, lights shining from all of the windows, and she briefly wondered if this was the correct party. Piper never attended these kinds of things, let alone threw one.

Jerome, Alfie, and Patricia entered together, and the two boys immediately rushed over to the food table, leaving the red-head alone. Patricia had two personalities at parties, both of which she discovered when she had been a teenager. Sometimes, Patricia was fully willing to join in, dance, and drink a little bit. However, tonight her less social side was showing. She was surrounded by people that she didn't know, and noises that she didn't feel like she had the strength to add to. She scanned the room for somewhere to escape, somewhere that she could silently sit without looking like a total loser. Her eyes found an empty cushioned chair, pushed into the corner from its normal spot in the center of the room. She made her way toward it, pulling her phone from her wristlet. As she was about to sit, a blonde boy plumped down in it, as if he hadn't even seen her there.

"Um, hello?" Patricia waved her hands in his face, ready to slap him if he didn't move.

"Oh, Piper." The boy looked up at her, and seemed surprised. "You curled your hair?" Ew. Piper knew an obnoxious, blonde, American boy? _Ew._

"I'm not-"

"Nevermind." He slumped back into his seat, but then seemed to think better of it, and grabbed her wrist, dragging her upstairs. "I need to talk to you." Patricia wanted to tell him who she was, really, but the way that his voice sounded; broken and desperate, made her know that this was going to be _good._ And she didn't want to miss out on a story. "Why did you throw this party?"

"Why did you come?" Patricia snapped back all too suddenly. She regretted it immediately; if she was going to get any information from him, she'd have to tread carefully.

"Because you told me to!" The boy erupted. "But I was wrong. I know that you're expecting this 'socialness' to _help_ me, but I'm not ready to get over her. Stop trying."

"Over who, exactly?" _Damn._ Patricia felt like slapping her palm to her forehead. This boy clearly knew Piper; Patricia's perfect-friend-of-a-twin wouldn't have asked such a stupid question. She would have known the answer before he had asked it.

"What?" The blonde boy sneered unwelcomingly, in a way that made Patricia question Piper's recent decisions on friendships. "Char, who else?"

"Um, yeah, Char. Sorry. I've been busy with this whole thing." Patricia gestured to the room, attempting to emphasize the extravagance of the party. Too bad they were alone in a white room with barely a mattress for furniture.

"Piper, it's getting bad. Really bad." He was close to her. Too close. She could feel his breath, see the emotions running through his hazel eyes. He had a boyish look to him, but he looked worn at the same time. Was he… was he going to kiss her? No. Alfie and Piper had been dating for months. Any of Piper's good friends would know that – he seemed like a good friend, at least. Why else would he confide in her?

He was waiting for her response, she could tell, but she wasn't quite sure how to deliver it. This was the kind of situation in which Piper would instruct that addressing him was required. But Patricia wasn't Piper. Patricia couldn't address him because she didn't even know his godforsaken name.

"Well," he swallowed, "Are you going to say anything?"

Patricia let out a prolonged sigh where his name should have been pronounced. "Just talk to me, okay? Let it all out." The blonde boy had tears in his eyes, his hands were shaking. For a moment, Patricia thought that maybe she shouldn't have said that. Maybe now, he assumed that Piper had never been listening to him when he reached out to her for help. But she hadn't messed up this time. For once, she had played the right card. He sat on to the ground with a sigh, his broad shoulders rising and then slumping. He puckered out his lips, emphasized the hurt puppy look in his eyes, and started his story. He was telling Patricia things that he hadn't even told Piper before, she could tell. It was almost obvious by the way that he constructed his story that Piper only knew his over-all generalized feeling. In this story, the blonde boy spilled his feelings during every significant moment leading up to their conversation. He told her everything, and for the first time in her life, Patricia listened.

***o***

**A/N: Was that confusing… or? What are your opinions so far? I've finished it, and I like it myself, so I hope that you guys will too.**

**About this whole Palfie thing – I really don't ship them that much, but I felt that using a character that everyone already knows would make things flow easier. :)**

**I also wanted to thank everyone who's still reading my stories even though you probably all hate me, and I wanted to give a special thanks to sinfullysarcastic who checked in on me in the middle of my story-clean out. If you're reading this, I wanted to thank you again; you were so sweet. I love you so much.**

**Love you all,**

**Grace**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Good Morning! :) I stayed up last night reading ****Fangirl**** by Rainbow Rowell (I'm like halfway done – so no spoilers) but seriously, it describes my life perfectly. That will **_**so**_** be me in college. I can feel it already. **

**In other news, are you guys ready to find out what happened to Eddie? There **_**is**_** a lot of dialogue in this chapter, but Eddie's story will be explained. It's important to pay attention!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis**

***o***

"I talked to your friend, Eddie, the other night." Patricia kicked a stick that was lying carelessly on the sidewalk. "I, um… he talked to me, actually."

"Really? Is he okay?" Piper sounded nervous? No, more like relived.

"Well, yeah," Patricia shrugged, "now that I've talked to him and all. I'm a miracle worker like that, you know."

"Patricia, this is serious." Piper cared about this boy so much. Not because she loved him the way that she loved Alfie, but because she cared for everyone and everything. Listening to Eddie's story helped Patricia understand this feeling. "What did he say," Piper swallowed cautiously, "did he talk about suicide?"

"What? No!" Patricia's head snapped up, her eyes transitioning to her twin's concerned face. "He just told me everything about that girl, Char, and I let him."

"Did you even introduce yourself? Eddie doesn't normally talk to strangers openly-"

"I wasn't a stranger," Patricia explained, as if it was obvious; "I was you."

"_Patricia_. You did not let him walk off believing that he just shared his deepest feelings with a friend, when he didn't. That's awful."

"I know, I feel bad and stuff, but I wanted to ask you a more important question." Patricia turned to her sister, who still looked angry, but did not object to the preposition. "Why didn't you tell me about this before? I really do think that I helped him on Friday."

"I_ have _talked to you about him before. Remember? I've talked to you _four_ times, actually, Patricia, and not once did you respond."

"I probably would have if you had told me that he was driving the car that she _died_ in."

"I didn't tell you that, _Patty_, because I felt that if he was willing to tell me his secrets, than I would keep them. Unlike someone here, I try my best to help people without hurting them further."

"I didn't hurt Eddie. I think that I saved his life."

"Patricia, what did he say to you? I want to know everything."

"Thought they were his secrets," Patricia replied, shrugging her shoulder.

"Not if he thought that he was sharing them with me." Piper was difficult to argue with.

"Fine," Patricia groaned, taking a seat on a nearby bench. Piper sat next to her, staring straight ahead, probably bracing herself for a story that she didn't want to hear again. Patricia didn't even want to repeat it.

"Okay," she sighed, "Eddie told me that things were getting really bad for him, so I asked him to spill everything that he needed to get off of his chest; and he did." She shut her eyes, but she wasn't quite sure why. Was she visualizing his story, or trying to shut it out? "He told me about the day that he first met Char in school. She was sitting across the room from you, and you guys were glaring at each other, like you were plotting the other's deaths. Eddie said that he was curious, so he got into it. He approached Char after school, and immediately forgot about the situation he had seen in the classroom earlier. He said that he was blown away by her beauty, her smile, her kindness. He asked her out instead. Eddie told me that he fell in love with her so quickly that he couldn't keep himself from obsessing over her. She was his world.

They were dating for six months before he started to hang out with you, too. He said that you were brilliant, the kind of friend that he wanted to have so that he could confide in you. He said that he wanted to talk to someone more than anything when he and Char were in fights. So, on her birthday, as they were driving to her favorite restaurant, she asked why he had been spending so much time with you. And he let it slip that you were an amazing friend, easy to talk to, unlike her. She set off on a list of the things that she hated about you, and he tried to defend you. For one second, Piper. One second, he took his eyes off of the road to look at her. He went right through a red light and another car hit the passenger side of his car. Char died on impact." Piper was nodding, tears running down her cheeks. It was a story that she had already heard, but never in such great detail. Maybe Eddie finally was getting over it.

"Anything else?"

"What do _you_ know?" Patricia asked, looking curiously at her sister.

"Not much, just that he's been drinking more than normal, not going out with friends anymore."

"After her funeral, Eddie visited his dad," Patricia continued.

"They were back on speaking terms, finally. I know," Piper nodded.

"Yeah, but when Eddie went back, Eric yelled at him. He told him that he had ruined his only chance at real love; that he had made the same kind of mistakes that he once had, but that Eddie really screwed up. He told Eddie that what he did was awful, that what he did was an impossible thing to be forgiven for. He kicked him out."

"Oh my god."

"So Eddie turned to drinking in between the multiples shifts that he took so that he could pay for a small apartment of his own. Eddie told me that sometimes, when he's surrounded by the silence, he thinks about her and he cries for hours. Sometimes, he thinks about himself and what could have happened if he hadn't yelled. If he hadn't felt the need to look at her. If they had walked down town, the way that she had originally wanted to."

"What else?" Piper begged, and then carefully, as if tasting something sour, she asked, "did he talk about jumping out the window or overdosing this time?"

"This time?" Patricia had never been so wrapped up in someone else's life before. "Has Eddie tried to commit suicide before?"

"He talked about it. Once," Piper nodded, her mouth scrunching up. "One time, he came to my apartment at four in the morning and Alfie was there," Piper blushed, "he was asleep by then, obviously. So I got out of bed, just myself, and I answered the door. I took the beer from Eddie's hand and threw it away. He was so mad, Patricia. His eyes were blood shot, and his hair was ruffled, and he started yelling. That woke Alfie up, and he thought that Eddie was a murderer, or a robber, and he jumped on him, and that only made Eddie angrier. I – I separated them, and pulled them both on to the balcony, and I sat in Alfie's lap, and Eddie was to my right. And we all just sat there in silence, and I think that Alfie knew something was up because for the first time ever, he didn't crack a joke." Piper looked over to Patricia, sharing a look that read _can you believe that this happened to the boy that was at the party on Friday?_ "Well, um," Piper sniffled, "out of the blue, Eddie just said; what do you think would happen if I took all of those depression pills and just jumped off of here? And then, Patricia, he laughed. He laughed like it was all one big joke and I started crying so much, and hugging him, and sobbing, and begging him to never say anything like that again. And he didn't."

"Piper, he may be more sober now, but it's been an entire eighteen months since she died. He's still not better."

"I know," Piper sniffed. "Eddie doesn't want help, though. He feels like, if I'm the only person that will talk to him, than how can he rely on new people?"

"Well, I talked to him. Alfie knew about this… somewhat. He's getting somewhere, right?"

"Patricia, you have to tell him." Piper said it urgently, standing up and pulling her sister with her. This was her annual routine when a revelation had dawned upon her. "Tell him right now that it was you on Friday."

"Piper, he'll _hate_ me."

"Maybe not," Piper shook her head, "Maybe this is his chance to meet more people, live his life again."

"I don't know. We could just pretend that I don't exist-"

"Patricia, for once in your life stop thinking about yourself. Think about me, and Char, and Eddie. Think about what you could do by simply being his friend. You could save his life, Patricia. You, of all people could be a hero, a friend that listens, and hugs, and cares instead of pulling pranks. You need one of those friends too. This is your chance. Take it."

***o***

**A/N: was this chapter confusing? I'm willing to answer any questions as long as they aren't spoilers! I'm looking forward to hearing all of your wonderful thoughts – I appreciated the feedback from last time! :)**

**Love you guys,**

**Grace**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis**

***o***

All he really could do was blink. How was he expected to react? It's not every day that your best friend calls you, asking you to meet her at a coffee shop, and then shows up with her _identical_ twin sister by her side. "Eddie," Piper began, "Patricia has something to tell you."

Patricia glanced at her sister warily. She didn't get involved in people's lives because that meant that she wouldn't end up in situations like this. "When you told Piper… well… um your story on Friday?" It wasn't supposed to come out as a question, but it did, and he showed no sign of response. "Well…You told… me."

"Wonderful." Eddie scowled, throwing his head on to the coffee shop table with a sigh. "I'm Eddie," he stuck his hand out, lifting his head from his arms. "I'd introduce myself further, but you already seem to know all about my life."

"I'm sorry," Patricia sighed, her eyes meeting his; the way that they had on Friday. This was different, though. He didn't look sad, or scared, or desperate. He was infuriated. She would be too, Patricia reasoned with herself, if she had mistaken Eddie for someone else and explained to him how she feels like the second best twin, the one that her family could have lived without. If she had shared that she, at twenty three years old had never been in a relationship before, that she wishes that she had possessed the capability to focus on tests, conversations, her future, her present day life. What if she had shared her traumatic year in seventh grade when she was pulled from her boarding school suddenly because of her plummeting grades? What if she had tried to explain how worthless she had felt, how she had turned to injure herself every day that year after her tutoring lessons, which made her feel dumber than her parents thought she was. How bad would it have been if she had told some guy off the streets that her parents had contacted special doctors, concerned that their daughter had a serious mental issue that affected her learning abilities? She would have been humiliated.

But that was just it. Patricia wasn't just some girl off the streets. She was his best friend's twin sister. She was the person that had sat by him until two in the morning, listening to what he had to say, comforting him, and forming an entirely new opinion of him.

"Why didn't you tell me that it was you?" He asked, "And you!" turning to Piper, "what didn't you tell me about your sister?" Patricia knew what Piper wanted to say; she wanted to answer _'We weren't under the correct circumstances; dealing with the issues of Char, for that kind of conversation.'_ But she didn't say that because she was Piper Williamson; perfect, smart, a planner.

"Eddie," She touched his arm, calming him down; you could tell by the way that his face relaxed. The tired look took back over his eyes. "It's in the past, now. We both know everything that happened, and we both want to… be you friends." Piper was going to say _help you. We both want to help you._ Patricia knows that she would have said that. But, again, Piper knew what she was doing.

"I wanted to be your friend, too, Piper. Two years ago. And I thought I was. Clearly, I was wrong." He stood up, sending a final glare at Patricia and walking out of the building.

"Piper," Patricia turned to her sister, carefully placing her hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Piper stared blankly ahead, battling thoughts in her mind. "Follow him, please follow him, for me." Patricia wasn't quite sure why; she didn't know this boy, she never really did things for other people at all, but she followed him. She followed him for Piper, she followed him for Eddie, she followed Eddie for herself.

"It wasn't Piper's fault." It had taken Patricia two blocks of stalking before she said that to him, out loud.

He tried to hide the startled jump that he made at the sound of her voice. "I don't really care who-"

"Eddie," Patricia jogged up to his side, "Piper didn't ask me to talk to you on Friday. In fact, I was going to tell you who I was but I was greedy, and selfish, and that's not fair. But please know that I'm not going to go around, using you story for publicity. I know that it feels like a useless promise, but it is one that I can keep. I swear on my life."

For a while, they just kept walking. Eddie's lips were planted in a firm scowl, his breathing heavy through his nostrils. He finally spoke, and Patricia wasn't expecting what she heard. "I'm not mad at either of you."

"What? Then what the hell was that back there?"

"I'm – Look, you made me admit things that were weighing me down. I wish that it was Piper that I had talked to; someone that had actually understood what I was talking about. But I did say everything. Everything that was burdening me. I basically removed that last layer of guilt; it's almost gone."

"Really?"

"You sound surprised." Eddie still wasn't looking at her, but at least he was talking to her.

"It's just that, I've never _helped_ someone before," Patricia admitted.

"Well you're pretty good at it." He cracked the first smile she assumed that he had in a while. "You should try it more often."

"I'm not really a people person, so…"

"That's okay, I'm not really a people person either. Not anymore." He was thinking about it again. He was not as okay as he had said.

"Eddie," she sighed, "how much of that layer of guilt have you unveiled?"

"Not much, Patricia. There's always going to be a part of it will be permanent. I'm not going to forget it."

"I know that." And she did, she truly knew that, and understood it, and reasoned with that conclusion.

"As of right now, I'm beginning to feel a little bit happier. Maybe your timing was just lucky, and I'm ready to let it go on my own. I don't know; I've just been thinking a lot recently and I finally realized what everyone's been telling me all along; I can't do anything about it anymore." He looked over at her, as if trying to decide if he should keep going. He did. "Besides, drinking and crying aren't how Char would have wanted me to spend the rest of my life. She'd want me to get on with it; find people that can fill up the empty space where she used to be. I need to do that for her."

Patricia didn't know how to respond. Not because she didn't know Eddie's name this time, or because she was concerned that she would hurt him, but because she was scared of what she wanted to say. She wanted to say; '_I can be your friend. I'll fill up that empty space.' _ But she had never made a move like that before. The only way she had ever won friends over was by dumping things on them. That wasn't going to work with Eddie, so the red-head had to step back and observe the situation. And when she did, she realized that it was entirely up to her this time. She was the one who had to change things, make things happen. Eddie wasn't going to willingly invite her over to talk; Patricia had to invite herself. She had to plant herself in his life. And while it could possibly save his life, Patricia wasn't doing this as a charity case. She truly wanted to be Eddie's friend because Piper was right; this was her chance, too.

***o***

**A/N: Well…. I guess this is technically the very beginning for them. Are you excited? What did you guys think of this chapter? I love hearing all of your thoughts!**

**Love you guys,**

**Grace**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey, guys. I didn't get **_**any**_** reviews on my last chapter. I'm seriously not complaining because I know that I was gone for a while and it might take a while to reestablish myself, but was there something that you guys didn't like about last chapter? Or are you not enjoying the story? I want your honest answers because I want to be on here as a respected author, and I want to meet your requests. Thanks everyone. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis**

***o***

Patricia's new realization; that she had to be the one to push this friendship with Eddie, was what ended the afternoon in her apartment, eating pizza and playing old board games together. Eddie was competitive, Patricia discovered, Eddie was funny, Eddie knew how to laugh. Eddie was secretly a happy person. He had demons, sure, demons that would haunt him for the rest of his life, but they weren't always so present. In fact, that afternoon, Patricia was sure that they weren't even there. Eddie didn't once look depressed, angry, or confused. He joked, he smiled, he playfully shoved her shoulder. They were kind of, sort of friends.

It felt good, Patricia concluded, to have an almost friend.

"So, tell me," Eddie began on the walk to his apartment. It may have seemed that Patricia was attempting to protect him when she volunteered to walk him home, but she truly wanted to spend more time with him. "How are you and Piper related?"

"What?" Patricia laughed, but she didn't actually want to hear what he had to say. Anyone who ever asked that question had been building up a way to tell her that Piper was better.

"I mean, _you're_ really free-spirited, happy. Piper's really nice but she's super serious too." Eddie seemed to wish that he hadn't said that. "I mean, Piper's great, I-"

"No, I get it," Patricia had to keep herself from hugging him. She had just received a compliment that was capable of overriding what he had to say about Piper. Most people didn't stick around long enough to hear her laugh. Eddie had. And he had noticed it. "I'm really glad that you think that." She wasn't going to tell him that Piper made her feel bad about herself… no, she had to come up with something that wouldn't worry him. "I guess that we balance each other out. She always knows the right answer, but I ultimately keep her from getting herself so wrapped up in tough decisions."

Eddie nodded, like he was trying to think of the person in his life that balanced him out. "Since Piper's taken by you, I can't really say that she balances me out. I don't really have anyone else that does that. And you aren't eve an option… we're too similar."

"Similar?" Patricia joked, "is that some sort of criticism?"

"Shut up," Eddie pushed her, a smile on his face. They walked for a little while longer, playful conversation on their tongues, until they reached his apartment complex. It wasn't big, it wasn't happy, it certainly wasn't in the best part of town, but it was impressive. Eddie had done this on his own, without any help, while suffering through his loss of Char. "Hey, how about you come up for a minute?"

"I should probably get back-"

"Patricia," Eddie wasn't begging, he was offering exactly what she wanted. "Just come up for a second, I'll give you the grand tour, and my phone number and then you can leave." She smiled, following him inside, and up the stairs to apartment 38B. "Ta-da!" Eddie opened his arms, emphasizing the little that she saw. He had a sofa, practically in the kitchen, a bed pushed off to the right corner, almost invisible. Two small doors; probably the closet and the bathroom. It wasn't much, but it looked homey. It didn't look the way that she had expected it would from talking to him on Friday. She had expected to see pill bottles on the counter, beer lying on the couch, wrappers everywhere, but she didn't. His apartment was organized, colorful; a place where you could feel safe, no matter how much you were being eaten by your own guilt.

"It's nice," she said truthfully, her eye catching a picture frame on the coffee table. She approached it, a heavy feeling in her heart. He was with a gorgeous girl in the picture, looking happier than she imagined he ever could be. The girls' blonde hair was long and straight. She had a naturally gorgeous smile that made her brown eyes light up. She looked perfect. She was dead. Patricia didn't even know her, and, yet, she mourned for Char, she mourned for Eddie's loss.

"She was beautiful, wasn't she?" He asked solemnly. Patricia nodded, feeling Eddie looking over her shoulder at the picture in her hand.

"I'm sorry, Eddie," she said. It was the first time she had said it to anyone freely, and she didn't even have a reason to say it. But she _was_ sorry. Sorry for all of the things that she wasn't in control of.

"Yeah, me too."

***o***

"Eddie's been so much happier lately." Piper smiled over at her sister from across the kitchen table. They were eating dinner with Alfie and Jerome. Piper hadn't invited Eddie because she was trying to ease him into their lives, not startle either him or Alfie (who still remembered Eddie's comment about suicide very clearly).

"Mhm?" Patricia nodded her head, nonchalantly.

"I don't know what you said to him on Tuesday last week, but he's been participating in class, and texting people, and doing his work. So, thank you."

"Of course," Patricia nodded. It was killing her to keep this a secret from Piper, but she wanted something that wasn't her sisters. Something that Piper couldn't beat her at. Eddie was that something; someone that could be hers, that she could talk to and not have to worry about Piper being a better friend. This was better for everyone; Patricia tried to reason with herself. Besides, Piper would think that Patricia was even more amazing if she believed that she had only ever talked to Eddie twice. Not true, considering that they already had a strong schedule. Monday mornings, Patricia and Eddie met for breakfast, Wednesdays for lunch, Fridays they hung out after school until eleven, and on the weekends they rotated by randomly showing up at each other's jobs just to talk and hang out when they could. Eddie was a great friend, he really was.

"Eddie who now?" Jerome looked up from his food, curiosity lacing its way through his eyes. He was always willing to eat up gossip.

"Eddie none-of-your-business, Slimeball." Patricia shot back. Piper may have been amazing at arguing, but Patricia was much better at stopping a conversation before it even started.

***o***

"Oh, hello, stranger." Eddie thought that is was funny to call her that because she had never formally introduced herself to him on Friday two weeks earlier. Patricia had to disagree.

"I need to talk to you," Patricia said, ignoring his greeting.

"Um, okay?"

"Like, not in public."

Eddie scrunched up his eyebrows. "Sounds like you're breaking up with me, Yacker," he joked, "in case you're lost, we're not dating."

"I got that, Weasel." She shot back, his nickname freely flowing out of her mouth. "Just when you're done, please, can we talk?"

"Sure," Eddie shrugged, wiping off the final table in the coffee shop, which he was closing up for the night. She took a seat in the booth closest to the window, waiting for him to finish up. When he did, they walked back to his apartment in silence. Eddie was worried about what she had to say, while Patricia was trying to think of exactly what she was _going_ to say.

When they arrived, they took a seat on his couch, cups of coffee in their hands, and Patricia began talking. "I haven't told Piper about us hanging out yet," she blurted out before she could stop herself..

Eddie looked betrayed, but he was doing a fairly good job at hiding it. "What? Why-"

"Eddie, please just let me talk. Remember how I let you get all of those things off of your chest two weeks ago?" He nodded. "Let me do the same right now." So he did; he let her talk, and she told him everything. She told him about her childhood, about being compared to Piper, about how she had never cared about someone else the way that she cared about Eddie. She told him how concerned she had been for him, and how grateful she was that they were hanging out. She barely took a breath as she rambled through her story, and when she was done, she was hardly awake enough to stand. So Eddie, always gracious when he could be, allowed her to sleep in his bed that night, and he took the couch, and for the hour leading up to him finally drifting off to sleep, he thought about what Patricia had said. He thought about how, no matter how many struggles he had faced, she had faced difficulties too, and he considered the ways that they were alike. They were both lost, and both trying to discover themselves. They were both doing that through each other. For the first time in a while, he didn't fall asleep thinking about Char. He fell asleep thinking about the girl that was a mere twenty feet away from him. She was different, sure, but a good different.

She was the kind of different that was helping him look at everything from a new perspective.

***o***

**A/N: Seriously. Reviews don't have to be the good things. If you don't like something; tell me. You can PM if you want. I'm not going to get mad. I know that quite a few of you I talk to constantly and there are others that I've never spoken to. Please believe me when I tell you that I accept any criticism and work with it. I won't be upset with you, or block you, or report you or any of that crap. I promise. Just let me know what you think – the reviews are what keep me motivated to post. I already wrote it, so I don't have to worry about falling behind or not having the inspiration to write. I simply need to know that you guys are at least moderately enjoying this so that I can keep posting. Thanks for your support. I still love you guys. **

**Grace**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I truly hope that I didn't seem pushy, selfish, or greedy yesterday. I didn't mean to force you guys to review, or make you really annoyed with me. I was just honestly just curious. Thank you to everyone who did review yesterday, though – I appreciated everything you guys had to say. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis**

***o***

Eddie woke up groggily. He was on his couch? He stretched, rubbed his eyes, and sat up with a yawn. It was Sunday, right? He closed his eyes, thinking back to the day before – everything was a blur. Did he drink last night? Opening his eyes, he stood to go to the bathroom when his eyes landed on a tuft of auburn hair, peeking out from below his comforter. Patricia. Right. He silently snuck past her into his small bathroom, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and stared at himself in the mirror for what felt like forever. He noticed, for the first time, how tired he looked. He had dark bags under his eyes, he needed to shave, he could barely keep his lids from closing. This wasn't because he had just woken up from last night's sleep. He finally noticed how horrible he looked because he was waking up from the two yearlong nightmare that he had lived through. It was almost over; he could feel it.

Just because Patricia was at his apartment, didn't mean that Eddie was willing to alter his schedule. He quickly started mixing pancake batter together and lined all of his usual toppings on the counter. When he looked up, Patricia was waking up; probably just as confused as he had been. "Good morning, Eddie," she sighed without even opening her eyes. Or maybe not. She stood up and walked over to his counter, pulling herself up, and sitting next to the chocolate syrup. "What in the world are you doing?" she laughed, picking up the bag of Tollhouse Butterscotch chips that were closest to the oven.

"You are about to eat the best breakfast _ever_," he promised, a boyish glint in his eyes. Patricia rolled her eyes, but didn't argue. Living in the same apartment building as Alfie and Jerome prepared her for the absolute weirdest combinations possible. She stayed silent until the pancakes were ready, swinging her feet back and forth for amusement. When Eddie handed her a plate stacked with pancakes, covered in his favorite order of toppings, she hopped off the counter and joined him at his kitchen table; barely big enough for two.

"Were you aware that when you're putting the toppings on, you stick your tongue out?" Patricia laughed; exampling for him by placing her tongue to the left of her lips.

"Um, no, I didn't." Eddie smirked. "Thanks for the heads up."

"I wasn't telling you to stop." Patricia shook her head, placing a bite of the pancakes in her mouth. "In fact, it makes you look really dignified, you know; hard at work."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Making food is the one thing that I practice most. You can't hate on my most cherished hobby if we're going to be friends."

"Okay, okay." Patricia held her hands up, unable to keep the smile off of her face. She would give anything for every morning to be like this; so easy and smooth that she could forget about any of her problems almost instantly. The laughing and talking was a nice change from her dull, lonely apartment.

***o***

When it dawned upon Patricia, nine days after her breakfast with Eddie, she couldn't keep it to herself. And she certainly couldn't tell him. So she turned to the person that it had always been easiest to confide in with hopes that Piper wouldn't shoot her or something of the sort. Her sister opened the door to her apartment after the first time that Patricia knocked on the front door. Simply seeing Piper's face relaxed her. Maybe this wouldn't be so difficult to say after all. The two sisters settled onto Piper's brown couch with cups of lemon tea (their favorite when they were growing up) in their hands. "So, spit it out," Piper urged, hitting Patricia's knee with her own.

Patricia sighed. "I like Eddie." She said it so quickly that she could barely understand her own voice.

"You… what? Like Eddie?" Piper's eyebrows were raised, concern etching her face. "Patricia I know that you haven't had a boyfriend before," Patricia sent her a cold glare, "so maybe you haven't even liked someone before," An even harsher glare came her way, but Piper continued treading carefully, slowly; "but you've barely even talked to Eddie. How can you say that you _like_ him?"

Patricia sighed again, attempting to regain the pride that she had lost. "I didn't tell you because… well…" How could Patricia say casually, _because I finally beat you at something?_ She could just not say anything at all. "Eddie and I have been hanging out. A lot."

"What? And neither of you told me that?" There was that same hurt-puppy look that Patricia was so used to seeing from her more sensitive sister. Even Eddie had played that card once or twice.

"We agreed to keep it a secret." Patricia continued before Piper could ask why; "it started that day a few weeks ago when you asked me to follow him. I talked to him and then he came back to my apartment and we hung out and played board games. It was fun. Really fun."

"I don't know if you're confused, but Eddie Miller doesn't go around with girls having a good time anymore."

"Well now he does," Patricia snapped, "now that he's met _me_, for once not _you_, Piper, he's having a good time. See, you're not so perfect anymore, are you?"

"Patricia," Piper stared down into her tea. "Please give me space." She said it quietly, like all of her strength was being used to subdue her anger.

"Fine." Patricia stood quickly, throwing her empty cup down. "I shouldn't have even come to you anyway," she sighed, picking up her purse and exiting her sister's apartment by slamming the door.

***o***

Regardless of the fact that Piper's door was closed, and her window curtains were drawn, Patricia felt like her sister was glaring at her up until the moment that the tall apartment building was out of her sight. She let out a relieved breath, and suddenly realized how alone she was in this. Was this how Piper had felt all of those times that she had gone to Patricia for help? Probably. But, Patricia reasoned with herself, this was different. More important, almost. While Piper always knew what she was doing, Patricia was always lost; always stumbling. Piper had connections, on top of her own, diplomatic, self, to talk to about basically anything. Patricia had no one. She couldn't go to Eddie to tell him that she liked him and ask for advice on how to handle it. Obviously. Yet, the biggest problem was that whenever Patricia needed help she _did_ go to Eddie, that's how it had been for nearly a month now; so that's what she set out to do. The entire walk to the coffee shop, nestled deeply in the heart of their friendly town, was filled with the thoughts in Patricia's head colliding with one another. She had to casually talk to Eddie; act as if she had randomly showed up at the coffee shop on a Tuesday afternoon to say hi. Yes, that was what she would do.

Well that had at least been the plan.

However, when Patricia walked into the coffee shop, her heart plummeted. There was Eddie, leaning on the side of the counter, half way out of the kitchen so he could jump back to work if his boss walked by. He took that position every time that Patricia stopped by to visit him. He wasn't with Patricia this time, though. No, this time he was with a beautiful, blonde girl. The girl's shoulders were slumped, as if she was permanently sad, but every now and then, the two of them laughed. She was gorgeous. Granted, Patricia could only see half of her face and most of her small, bony back, but she was a recognizable kind of pretty. The classic girl that every woman strives to look like and every man wants to be with. Of course Eddie would like her. He was like that; no matter how down to earth as he was; caring, sweet, compassionate and friendly, he would still make a better boyfriend for a girl that knew how a relationship worked, not one that didn't. Patricia had zero experience; just as Piper had harshly reminded her.

Confused and upset, Patricia wavered by the door, ready to walk out if Eddie and _that girl_ touched, or hugged, or… kissed. Before she turned the handle, though, Eddie caught her staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He gave her a small half-grin and held up his pointer finger, signaling for her to wait. Reluctantly, she did. She took a seat in a chair positioned at an empty table, and stared ahead, waiting for them to stop talking. Their good-bye hug was even a relief to Patricia because that meant that Eddie was finally hers to talk to. The girl was even prettier when she turned around. She had the warmest brown eyes Patricia had ever seen. Before she exited the shop, she flashed a smile and a wink at Patricia, throwing the auburn haired girl off. She _had_ seen that girl before, and not in a magazine. Those loving eyes, that welcoming smile, her overall fresh face… Char.

In an instant, Patricia forgot everything that she was going to say to Eddie. She forgot to yell at him, and tell him that she liked him, and she completely forgot to hug him. Instead, curiosity threatening to choke her, she spit the question out of her mouth. "Who _was_ that?" She didn't say '_she looked like Char!'_ because she could tell that Eddie knew that she was thinking that.

He grinned childishly, making Patricia… jealous? No! How could she be jealous of a boy that she had been friends with for a mere month and nothing more? Love was _confusing_, head-ache causing , even. "Isabel's her name." It took him a while to explain further, which kept Patricia on the edge of her seat, concern etching its way through her heart. "She was Char's older sister." He ran his fingers across the towel in his hand. "She's the first one of her family members to talk to me since…" his throat contracted, and Patricia promised that he didn't have to continue. It made sense now; of course he was happy; grateful, maybe even a bit more optimistic. Isabel wasn't _competition_, she was shoving Eddie back into the life where he belonged. A happy life where he could be a young adult, and maybe even have crush on Patricia, too.

"I thought, you know, that she was your girlfriend or something." Patricia let out a light hearted, breathy laugh, attempting to say; _funny, right?_

Eddie made a noise, not a laugh, walking back behind the counter, but still talking to her as he worked. "Are you kidding?" His eyes met hers. They were a beautiful dark green, almost brown. His blonde hair was hanging loosely down the front of his face today. He had a young, beautiful look. Every day, she noticed, he seemed younger as he freed himself further from the Char incident. She had to keep herself from reaching out and brushing the hair out of his eyes. _This is it_, Patricia thought with a smile playing on her dry lips. _He's going to say; you're the only girl I like_. That was how it always worked in the movies, right? So she was basically inclined to expect it now, wasn't she? But Eddie didn't say that. He said something that hurt even more than the pang of jealously she had felt earlier. Looking straight at her, as if she was actually the person that he could say it to, Eddie mumbled;

"I'm never going to date anyone _ever _again."

***o***

**I'm reading all of John Green's books (In the order of ****Looking For Alaska****, ****An Abundance of Katherines****, ****Paper Towns****, and then ****The Fault In Our Stars****) and that man is honestly going to kill me before I'm done.**

**Love you guys,**

**Grace**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis**

***o***

She had run out of the coffee shop immediately, and she hadn't experienced the emotional stability to regret it yet. When she had reached her apartment, she had taken a deep breath, collecting the air that she had lost on her run home. And then, losing her tough, bad-girl look, she became the mushy, emotional, helpless girl that she had _never, ever_ been in her previous twenty-three years. Never. Feeling a sob choke her, she slid down her front door, tossing her purse forward, where it landed under her table. She knew that she was going to cry, and briefly considered wiping her make-up off, but she didn't have the strength to do so. Heaving a sigh, she gave in to this confusing stage of a crush and simply cried. How could her heart be broken by someone that she had never dated? Was this what the girls at her high school had felt like? Was this how Amber Millington; the always smiling, always dating, always perfect girl felt break-up after break-up? If this was how pathetic and horrible they had all felt when a relationship ended, then Patricia was sorry that she had ever made fun of any of them. Even if it was only behind their backs.

At the same time, she wondered how they could be so stupid. How could girls who _knew_ of the existence of this horrible feeling, fall in love all over again? How could they possibly stand the stages of a crush, of a boyfriend, of a fight, if they knew that it was going to end the same way? Part of Patricia briefly considered calling her sister, even though they were in a fight, or her best friend Joy, who was out of town for the next three months studying who-knows-what. Part of her even considered calling _Amber_, but that would be pathetic on her part. So after she was done crying, which was only about three minutes after she had started, she hugged her knees to her chest and swore to herself that if Eddie, the only boy that had ever managed to make her heart flip, and her lips curve into a smile at the sight of him, wasn't ever going to date anyone again, than she wouldn't either.

***o***

"Patricia?" Eddie knocked again, letting out a huff of annoyance. Maybe she was still asleep; he shouldn't have come so early.

"Ah," The sound of a tongue clicking announced the presence of a tall, lanky blonde boy. "You're Eddie, aren't you, mate?"

"Yeah," Eddie sighed, knocking one more time.

"You're not going to find her there," he smirked. "She came by my apartment at five or so," he wrinkled his nose, as if he was having an internal conflict with himself over deciding what to say. "She had these um," he ran his fingers down his cheeks, "mascara tears." He huffed as if it was the stupidest thing in the world. "She went to her friend's house and told me, to tell you, that she was visiting her parents for the week."

"But she's not?" Eddie confirmed cautiously. Girls were confusing.

"I'll say," the boy glanced at Eddie his head tilted, ignoring his question, "what's a kind guy like you doing dating her?" He jerked his head back, like the thought of Patricia with any boy was terrifying.

"Yeah, we're not dating. We never were." Eddie said, blandly, still not making eye contact.

"Oh," the boy smirked again, more cockily this time. "Good for you," he stretched out his arm, "I'm Jerome and it's your lucky day because I was about to beat you up for breaking her heart."

Eddie sighed lightly, "yeah not me, Jerry." Jerome scrunched his nose up again this time, crinkling his mouth in the process, but he said nothing. "Do you know _which_ friend's house she went to, by chance?"

***o***

"Yacker!" Patricia's eyes went wide at the sound of her nickname, followed by a knock on the front door.

"I'll get it!" Amber cheered much too loudly, bouncing up off of the floor, her pink dress flowing with her.

"Amber." Patricia's warning stare was enough to stop the ditzy blonde girl in an instant. Their eyes locked. Patricia pulled her knees in farther to her chest, and Amber looked between the broken girl on the couch, and her front door. As she glanced between the two, her straight, blonde hair spiraled around her face, and settled on her shoulders.

"Well, that's him isn't it?" She hissed, a smile toying with her bright pink lips. "The boy that you _looovvee?"_

"Yes," Patricia sighed. "But we aren't dating," she reminded her again. "Don't say _anything_ about me liking him."

"Of _course_, Patricia." Amber rolled her eyes and placed her hips on her hands. "…_So_, I can get the door, right?"

"Fine."

"Yay!" All too excitedly, she clapped her hands and threw the door open. She grinned wider when she saw Eddie, and turned her head to look at Patricia, who was hiding sluggishly in the corner. '_He's cuuutttteee!_' The blonde mouthed to her friend, embarrassing Patricia already. The auburn haired girl braced herself for the worst; Amber saying; "_Patricia has a huge crush on you, Patricia thinks you're cute, just get over Char! She's single and ready to mingle!"_ Maybe this was a huge mistake. "Hello, Eddie!" She smiled widely, and gestured him inside of her large house.

"Amber?" he nodded, hoping that he got the name right.

"The one and only!" she grinned, and then scrunched her eyebrows together. "Except for all of those _other_ Ambers." Eddie smiled half-heartedly. This girl was _his_ Patricia's friend?

"Yacker," Eddie breathed a sigh of relief, walking toward her in quick strides.

"Yeah, I'm actually sick, Slimeball, so…" Patricia held her hands in a cross above her face. This was going to be the moment where Amber ruined it, wasn't it? She was going to laugh and tell Eddie and that Patricia was perfectly healthy and that they should make-out or something. Oh God. Patricia braced herself.

It didn't happen.

"Yeah, she came here _really_ early in the morning," Amber exaggerated the whole thing with her facial expressions. "Poor thing; she was so desperate to get rid of that fever; she interrupted my beauty sleep."

"Is that why you left so quickly yesterday?" Eddie asked it, but it was obvious that he knew that it was a lie. Maybe he wanted it to be the truth, or maybe he was desperately hoping that she had good reasons that weren't illness related.

"Well, duh," Amber twirled her hair and answered his question before Patricia could feel guilty and admit to lying.

"Yeah, not to be rude," Eddie looked at her oddly, "but why would she come to you?"

"Simple!" Amber's voice sounded squeakier. "When Patricia and I got sick in high school, we would have sleep overs and talk to each other until we forgot how sick we were." Lie. Amber and Patricia barely spoke in high school. "Plus, daddy buys me all of the best medicines so that I don't miss a _day_ of work. I'm designing a new clothing line right now!" Amber beamed proudly. _Well played, Millington_. Patricia thought, utterly thankful.

"Okay." Eddie didn't sound convinced. "Then why did Jerome say that you were um…" Eddie looked at the ceiling, as if the word would be there. He ran his fingers down his cheeks. "Mascara! Mascara running down your cheeks!"

"From the coughing, and sleeping uncomfortably." Patricia shrugged. "I'm fine."

"He said someone broke your heart…" Eddie kicked at the rug, trying (and failing) to avoid eye contact.

"Jerome lies all the time," Amber said, blankly. "He likes to make things up so that he can tear everyone else apart. See, it worried you, right?"

"Um, yeah." Eddie nodded. "Well, when you're feeling better, Yacker I actually had something to talk to you about."

"Just say it now." Patricia looked at him. He wasn't going to ask her out – he had made that _pretty_ clear yesterday. "Amber's not a gossiper." Patricia almost laughed; that was the biggest lie she had ever told. But Amber seemed to believe her too, and in order to show her point, fake zipped her lips.

He had that depressed look in his eyes. "I wanted to talk to you about…" he nodded his head as if that would help her, and only her, hear the name _Char_. A month-ago, before she met Eddie, maybe even _yesterday_, when she was pissed off at him, Patricia would have said; "Wonderful, let's go talk about more girls that aren't me. Considering that I come after the dead ones, too." But she considered all of the things that she had learned about Eddie in the past month. She thought of how happy he made her, how much he made her smile. Everything that she thought about, helped her to forget how upset she had been with him yesterday. She nodded, took her time to get up, and then hugged Amber goodbye.

"Thank you for letting me stay over. I'm going to work this out now_."_ She whispered in the blonde's ear and Amber patted her back, as if to encourage her, before letting her go and saying goodbye to Eddie. They were nearly halfway back to Patricia's apartment when he finally spoke up. "Tomorrow's the two year anniversary of her death." Patricia didn't say anything. "I'm going to visit her grave and… I was wondering if you would come with me." Patricia wanted to scream at him; tell him no; how dare he ask her to do that after hurting her so much? The issue was, though, that Eddie didn't even know that he hurt her. He was a guy, who swore to never fall in love with anyone, he didn't understand that he truly had injured her. So, hoping to not raise his suspicion; she agreed.

"Even though; I I'm not quite sure if it's respectful for me to show up – I didn't even know her."

"I think she'll be happy to know that she has support, even now, even from people that she didn't know."

"Well support from me won't do much for anyone." Patricia heaved a sigh.

"Not true, Yacker." He glanced at her, his eyebrows raised. "Your support was the best thing that ever happened to me." Patricia almost stopped walking. No one. _No one_ had _ever_ said that. Patricia never imagined that anyone ever would. Come on, she was Patricia Williamson; she wasn't caring, sweet, compassionate, or friendly. Eddie was all of those things. So how was it that she was the person that had turned this broken boy back around? Had he done that to her too? She thought about it for a minute, and realized that, yes, Eddie had mended her too. He had been a part of her life even when he didn't want to have anyone in his own life. He made her laugh, he helped her live. He made her love.

And then, he went and ruined it all over again.

***o***

**A/N: I don't know; there's only supposed to be one chapter and the epilogue left but I'm considering extending it just a bit because the next chapter feels a bit rushed, so maybe.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So I took your opinions (and my own) into consideration and I've decided to extend the story. I have two more chapters written, but I'm thinking about writing chapters that take place farther in the future so that the epilogue can occur years from this time. We'll see. So far it should be at least three more chapters than originally planned. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis**

***o***

Patricia answered the door as she put her left earing in. "Come in," she waved Eddie in, and grabbed her purse.

"You look nice. Thank you," He blinked, "for coming along, I mean."

"I knew what you meant." A few days ago it would have come out as a joke, but today wasn't a day for joking. And Patricia wasn't in a joking mood when Eddie was around anymore, anyway.

They walked, to the graveyard, the way that they always did. And that was when it finally clicked. They had never _actually_ discussed this because she was too naïve to notice and he was too grateful that she hadn't brought it up, but Eddie didn't even own a car. She should have noticed it the few times that she had driven the short trip to his apartment, there wasn't a car parked in his designated spot. After the damage had been done to the other one in the crash, he probably never purchased a new car. She briefly wondered if he even had his license. Just thinking about it made Patricia's stomach flip. They were taking a different route today, traveling toward the back of town to the graveyard, instead of the front. They were going to cross the street, right where she died, right where glass had laid for days; as Eddie had described it. It made Patricia feel light-headed; she couldn't possibly imagine how Eddie felt.

As they were getting closer to the crosswalk, Patricia noticed how tight his grip was on the flowers, his knuckles nearly white, his hands shaking, his breathing high and quick. She didn't know what to say, so she did the only thing that she felt would keep _her _stable in a condition like this. She wrapped her arm around his waist, and gave him a slight sideways hug. '_I'm here for you, always'_ was what it promised him without having to say anything. He hugged her back, and for a moment, Patricia didn't think about this as a hug that could lead somewhere. She didn't think about it as the relationship that could never happen. She didn't even think about liking Eddie at all. She thought about how grateful she was that he was here, by her side. She thought about how good it felt to help someone out. She thought about the fact that she truly would be there for Eddie no matter what, and today was absolutely no exception.

They arrived to the silent, damp graveyard. The warm May air was slowly fading away. It was six seventeen, only two minutes left until the time that she had died. Patricia let go of Eddie to give him space, and hugged her waist. Her finger tips held on to the black lace of her dress as she attempted to replace the warmth that he had provided. They both stared at the gravestone, inscribed with the name; _Charlotte Genevieve Baker _and the date; (_May 29 1995 -_ _May 29 2016_). He should have been celebrating her twenty-third birthday with her, right now. He should have never met Patricia, he should have been holding on to Charlotte, tightly, thanking God for her, and now… he had lost that opportunity. In fact, he practically dragged a stranger to her grave, and there, instead of eating birthday cake, Eddie breathed in the scent of the fresh flowers in his hands. He took breaths through his nose, closed his eyes once in a while, and at one point, Patricia heard him choke on air. He was experiencing that horrible moment when your air supply stops because you suddenly give up on not crying.

"Six nineteen," Patricia whispered, solemnly. A few tears ran down Eddie's cheeks as he placed the flowers by her grave. He stood straight up before he could be brought down on his knees, and hugged Patricia as tightly as possible. He cried for a little while; Patricia could feel his shoulders shaking, and when he was done needing the hug, he stood back, and looked at her, silently. "Eddie," she swallowed, tears in her eyes, "I don't know what you were planning on doing, but maybe you should say all of your favorite things about Char. You were able to let go of the grief by talking about what happened. Maybe you can get over all of the sad things that you remember about her by talking about all of the good things." _Where had this come from?_ Patricia wondered, _was Eddie right? She knew how to help people and she was good at it?_

"Yeah, good idea," he sniffled, kneeling down, and touching the stone softly. He barely made it past the first two words before he was crying so hard that Patricia couldn't understand anything that he was saying. It took him almost an entire hour to get everything that he had on his mind out, and when he was finished, he hugged Patricia again; a much shorter hug this time. Maybe he was tired, or his vision was blurred, or his head was spinning, but when he pulled away from her he whispered; "I miss you." And then he kissed her.

Eddie kissed Patricia.

Patricia kissed him back.

And then he jerked away, his mouth agape at the realization of what he had done. Patricia shouldn't have enjoyed it. She knew that. After all, they were at his girlfriend's grave. He was crying. She had come for support, not a relationship. But it wasn't like she was _going _argue him kissing her. This had to mean that he liked her. It had to. Right?

Wrong.

"I'm – I'm sorry." Eddie sounded like he was a t loss from air as he took backwards steps blindly. His still seemed stunned frozen by what had happened. "I just - I thought you were Char."

And then he ran.

***o***

**A/N: I was watching the sneak peak clips for PLL on YouTube and I have the same sweater as Spencer. Yay. :)**

**What'd you guys think?  
Grace**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey, sorry that I didn't update this morning, per usual. School started back up (I even set my alarm early so that I could get this out for you guys) but I was so exhausted that it didn't happen. I'm crossing my fingers for a snow day tomorrow, though. Anyway, here you go! :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis**

***o***

"Patricia!" Piper rolled her eyes before pulling her spare key from her purse and opening the door to her sister's apartment. Her eyes scanned the empty rooms. Her sister hadn't been given much time in between the phone call that Jerome had delivered to her twin, worried about her, and now. She couldn't have made too much of a mess. Plus, she had no reason to leave. Jerome had made it pretty clear that _everyone_ had heard her door slam last night. "Patricia?"

She stepped warily into the bathroom, and then the kitchen, and finally the master bedroom. "Trish?" Piper approached her twin, who was curled up on her bed, the lights off. She wasn't making much noise aside from occasional sniffles. Carefully, Piper placed her hand onto her twin's back. She rubbed straight lines for a little while, and ran her fingers through Patricia's mangled hair. They didn't say anything for nearly three minutes. "Jerome called me," Piper explained, "I wanted to check in on you." She let out a sustained sigh. "I would've come anyway. I wanted to apologize for _everything_. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. You really pulled Eddie through a horrible time in his life; you're an amazing friend. And I think that you guys would make a great couple, too."

"Doesn't matter." Patricia sniffed, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "He doesn't like me."

"You guys talked about it?" Piper guessed, "he's probably just not ready."

"No, Piper." Patricia threw her head into a pillow and let out a groan. "He kissed me," she whispered.

"What?" Piper let out a confused chuckle. "Then he _does_ like you! He has to Trix-"

"Stop," Patricia demanded, sending her a cold glare. Piper didn't deserve for Patricia's anger to be taken out on her, but no one else had stopped by to be burdened with the story. "He got wrapped up in her… we were at her grave…. And he mistaked me for Char."

"Oh, Patricia." Piper pulled her sister into her arms, resting her chin on the top of Patricia's head. "I'm so sorry."

"Whatever." Patricia wiped her eyes again. "I didn't even like him that much anyway."

Piper let out a laugh. "Look at you!" Patricia glanced down at her mangled hair, her old sweatshirt, and yoga pants. "This is _proof_ that you liked him." Patricia laughed lightly, but stopped automatically. She didn't want to laugh. She wanted to cry until her cheeks stung and she was wheezing for air.

"Maybe a bit," she lied. Eddie had been all that she had been thinking about for the past week. How did a boy do that to a girl? Become her everything all of the sudden?

"I'll talk to him, if you want."

"No! You were probably right. He needs time. He _told_ me that he wasn't ready to date again." It was all true, yes. But Patricia didn't want to lock herself in her room and act like a chicken, or seem like she didn't care. She had to settle this on her own, but she wasn't sure how.

"Okay," Piper brushed hair out of Patricia's face. "Call me if you need anything, and talk to Eddie when you're ready, yeah?"

"Yeah," Patricia promised, enveloping her sister in a tight hug. "Thank you."

"Of course, Tricia. I'll always be here for you." Patricia nodded because she felt that way _now_. But a few days ago, Piper had hurt her, a lot. She wasn't sure if she would actually go to her for help ever again.

***o***

Patricia was searching her cabinets for a pack of _any_ microwavable pasta. Anything. She craned her neck to see what her hand had landed on, and she caught sight of an old pill bottle. It was from nearly two years ago when she had gotten a horrible stomach bug. She had meant to throw it out, it was empty. But were Eddie's? She thought back to the story that Piper had told her about his comment on over-dosing on depression pills. Her heart started racing. Without closing the microwave, or putting her dishes away, or turning the lights out, she ran out of her apartment. At the end of the hall, she turned left and took the stairs, skipping every three. Her heart was pounding, her hair was flying in every direction. She jumped in to her car as quickly as possible and raced to his home, thanking God that the roads were practically clear. She didn't even park her car. She left it in the middle of the lot, door open, and ran inside.

If Eddie had killed himself. God forbid Eddie had killed himself over _her_. Her head cycled through endless possibilities, she was short of air, and not because she was exhausted, but because she was terrified. How had Piper not thought of this earlier? How had it not crossed her _own_ mind?

She practically threw herself at Eddie's door, knocking repeatedly as she got her phone ready to call 911 if necessary. She was about to press the call button when he lazily swung the door open. His hair stuck out in every direction, his eyelids drooped, and he had absolutely no idea what was going on.

She was so mad at him. She was mad that he had told her that he wasn't going to date again, she was mad that he had kissed her at Char's grave. She was mad that her first kiss was on account of the guy's mind being tired. She was _so_ mad that he had worried her this much. But none of that mattered when she saw his drowsy face. She may have been _raging,_ but she couldn't feel it for a second. In an instant, her arms were around his neck. She was sobbing so heavily into his chest, repeating "Thank God, thank God," over and over again.

He was stunned. And embarrassed. He was embarrassed that he had kissed her – he didn't really want her hugging him right now. In fact, he didn't even want her close to him because, man, had he screwed up. He briefly considered pushing her off, but then he realized that they would be surrounded by awkward silence, so he just let her cry, and he kept his hold on the door handle, not wrapping her in his arms because he was also utterly confused.

Apologizing minutes later, Patricia detached herself from him, wiped her eyes and stared up at him blankly. He opened his mouth to say something, but he choked on what to say, so he closed his lips and swallowed.

"I'm sorry," she breathed out. She realized that she had barely caught her breath since the moment her hand touched the pill box in her cabinet. "I thought that maybe you…. I was scared that you were going to kill yourself." Her voice had gotten progressively quieter, and her eyes had found their way to the floor instead of his face.

Eddie wasn't in the mood to talk to her right now, but he had to settle this. He had to make sure she knew that he didn't hate her, and that he wasn't going to hurt himself. "Two months ago, maybe." He nodded even though they weren't actually looking at each other. "But now I have someone to stay for."

***o***

**A/N: I honestly thought that my first day back from break would be easy but, ugh, there was **_**so**_** much work. And new seats. New seats suck because I'm all mature and responsible, and my science class is full of idiotic, immature populars. So, basically, I'm stuck in a secluded corner technically **_**babysitting**_** two of the popular guys, and sitting near the most annoying girls. Ugh, ugh, ugh.**

**Grace**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own House of Anubis**

***o***

They were back to their routine of hanging out every other day, and being friends. Admittedly, though? It _was_ awkward. They tried to talk like they hadn't shared a kiss, and like they didn't have doubts about suicide.

They kept that up for promptly two days.

"Would you quit acting like I'm going to throw myself at you because of that kiss?" Patricia snapped on Tuesday, over lunch.

"The second you stop looking over me like I actually _am_ going to overdose." They stared at each other, identical frowns on their faces. "God, Patricia. I _told _you. I'm staying here for you, I swear."

"So the second that I leave, you will too? Eddie you can't stay here _for_ me. You have to stay here for _yourself_."

"I am, I-" Eddie threw his head into his arms. "I didn't mean it like that,Patricia. I'm alive for me, but here," he pointed to the table, the café, maybe even the town, "for _you._"

"Okay." She sighed, dissatisfied. It would have been sweet if they weren't arguing. "Sorry I brought it up." He sat forward, like he wanted to say something, but seemed to decide against it and slumped back in his chair pressing his tongue to the roof of his mouth. They finished their lunch silently and then walked in separate directions. She went home, he went to work, and neither argued the other's leaving.

That wasn't how they were supposed to operate. Patricia felt like she should fix it, but she didn't want to. All she had done was worried for his safety. He had started it. He had kissed her. Or Char. Or, whatever. He was the one that had to fix it. She didn't _want_ to have the upper hand in their relationship constantly.

***o***

Eddie seemed to realize it, too. Well, maybe he had given up on hoping that she would apologize, so he just decided to take the high-road and work things out on his own. Patricia would have been thankful that he had come to say sorry, but for the first time she really wished that he had called first. Because here he was, cleanly showered, flowers in his hand, a desperate look in his eyes, and her parents were sitting at her dining room table, asking who was at the door. "Um," Patricia cleared her throat and ushered Eddie inside. "Mum, Dad; this is Eddie."

"You didn't tell us you were dating anyone, dear." Mrs. Williamson sat forward in her chair, ready to stand up and greet Eddie.

"Oh, oh," Patricia and Eddie exchanged flustered glances and attempts at saying that they weren't dating. "Yeah, we're not. We're just friends." They stepped apart, like the two foot distance would prove their point, and Eddie tossed the flowers on to the ground.

Mr. Williamson raised his eyebrows at his daughter. Maybe they weren't convincing enough. "Okay, then." He turned back around. "Eddie, son, care to join us for dinner?" Eddie turned to Patricia but she was already sitting back down and avoiding contact. He should have said _'no thank you, sir,'_ because that was clearly what Patricia wanted. But she also wanted him to get back on to speaking terms with her. And staying through this dinner was the only way to make sure of that.

Piper came in halfway through the dinner, panting and apologizing for being late. She said something about her music audition going overtime because they narrowed her down as a finalist. While everyone congratulated her, Patricia rolled her eyes. The night was only getting worse, so far. Through conversation, Mr. and Mrs. Williamson learned everything about Eddie (and his relationship with both of their daughters). The trio of young adults swiftly managed to leave out anything about Char, though. That wouldn't have settled well with their picky parents.

They asked him questions about his job, and family life, and future, and he replied with as little detail as possible, including scattered lies that were absolutely _mandatory. _It was a nerve-wracking dinner to get through, but he did survive. He also learned that her parents were staying the night, so he volunteered to help Patricia clean up. It was the only time that they were going to get alone. The groan that she let out at his offer was so loud, so obvious, her parents threw them questioning looks. Patricia played it cool by smirking and telling him that she was teasing. She really wasn't. Being trapped in the kitchen with Eddie was the _last_ thing that she wanted.

"What?" She demanded, hitting him with a towel. "Why did you come? Seriously? Because in case you haven't noticed, my parents are _very_ much like Piper." She was quietly whispering the best that she could. Altogether, though, she was still yelling at him. "I'm not in the mood to lie to them, or talk to you, or-" Eddie grabbed on to her wrists, and their eyes met. Patricia had seen a romance movie or two when the guy cut the girl's rambling off with a kiss. She was glad he hadn't done that. Had he leaned in, she would have pushed him off. She wasn't in the mood for another Eddie kiss. The other one had ended badly enough.

"I had to talk to you, Yacker. I wanted to apologize."

"For what?" She spat, yanking her arms away from him, and crossing them in front of her chest.

"Everything. Our fight this week, scaring you earlier, kissing you." Patricia was about to say something sarcastic to him, but he cut her off again. "I like you, too." His words were rushed, nervous. Patricia racked her brain for the time that she had told him that she liked him, and tried to keep the redness of her cheeks un-obvious. She had never said anything to him, so did he mean he liked her as in he _liked_ her? Or was he trying to send some other message?

He swallowed. "Piper told me that you like me, and-"

Patricia looked so angry. "I am going to kill her. I said that-"

"_Yacker_. I like you, too." He said it like she hadn't heard him the first time.

"Eddie, you kissed Char, not me the other day." She placed her hands on her hips. "That's what I was told, at least."

"Well, yes." He didn't argue it like she had expected. "But these past weeks; I wasn't hanging out with her, or laughing with her, or falling for her." Patricia was taken aback. This was what flirting was like? It made her feel fairly uncomfortable, not flattered. Now she was expected to say something back. She could feel her heart pounding. What did someone say back to that? She let out a sigh and replaced her worried thoughts with a "_Patricia"_ comment, not the sweet kind that he had been expecting. "Yeah well you're not looking for a girlfriend. You told me that, too."

"I'm _not,_" He was practically begging her to understand something that she didn't. "Patricia, I'm not going to start a relationship a week after the two year anniversary of Char's death." Patricia tried to make herself nod, but in the moment, it was if she had forgotten how to. "But I like you, and I wanted you to know that."

"That's it?" It wasn't _meant_ to sound so selfish, but it came out the way that she heard the voice in her head saying it. "You just decided that coming in here, telling me you liked me, and then leaving was going to make up for it all?"

"No." It was clear that this wasn't an on-the-spot decision. He had been trying to figure out how to approach this topic for a while. It almost sounded like he had practiced it. "I was going to ask you out."

"What?" Patricia didn't feel like this moment was romantic in the least bit. He was _so_ confusing.

"In two months," he clarified, "if you're still around in two months – if you still _like_ me in two months, then would you go out with me?" Patricia wasn't sure if she was supposed to be happy or mad. She was simply puzzled. "Yacker?"

"Um." She was confused, and she wasn't going to hide it. If he hadn't messed with her head so much, then maybe it she would have felt her heart exhilarating, or the joy rising in her throat. But she didn't. Instead, she delivered a delayed response. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, what?" Maybe Eddie actually was good at flirting and Patricia just _sucked_ at it, no matter which end she was at. That would be embarrassing; if this whole time Eddie knew exactly what he was doing and she was fumbling around with her words like an idiot. He stepped closer to her, a boyish smirk on his face. Oh God. She was _horrible_ at this thing.

"Yeah, I'd like to go out with you," she nodded because she _did_. She wanted to go out with him desperately. And she was willing to wait for two months. She didn't say it out loud – she didn't have the guts to do that, but she would wait two years for Eddie.

***o***

**A/N: We had a snow day today and I'm so happy because I seriously slept in until 10, so my day would have been tough to get through if I hadn't been off. **

**Love you guys,**

**Grace :)**


End file.
